So... Why were you deported and what gang were you in?

El Heraldo image

People aren't shy about asking these questions here in Honduras. If you're a returning Catracho you're either a deportee or crazy. After dengue, 2 armed robberies, a brief stay in a cell , and a few near-drowning experiences, I have to agree with my mother and label myself as crazy. I haven't seen any media coverage of "crazy" returning Catrachos so most people assume that everyone coming back has been deported, especially if you're young. In the defense of ignorance; La Prensa recently reported that 27,000 Hondurans have been deported from the U.S. in the first seven months of 2009 and the ICE doesn't try to deport people for "nuthin", unless you're Elian Gonzales. 58,000 Hondurans had their American dreams deflated last year. After seeing the numbers, I can understand why so many people impose these questions. Despite my understanding, it's still offensive.

I've had people ask me, "Why were you deported?" before asking my name, some people try to be smooth about it; they'll ask where I "was" before moving here. I may be exaggerating, but it feels like they're asking what jail I was in before being released for deportation. I was grilled about deportation at a job interview, once hired, I was expected to submit proof of non-deportation. Do you want page 193 from my journal or pictures of me at the airport without handcuffs? How would one go about proving a voluntary return to Honduras? I was thrilled to work there..... A "friend", more like acquaintance, finally asked about deportation after months of knowing me and was relieved to learn I had not been deported. She let out a sigh of relieve and said, "O.K. good, because my friend and I were wondering about that."

The other big question on the tip of everyone's tongue when meeting a returning Catracho is, "What gang were you in?" I met a lady running a dive shop in Roatan, after introducing ourselves and exchanging stories about where we're from, she said in her Texan (more like Tex-Mex) accent "Alright, take off the shirt and show me all them gang tattoos" All I could do is smile in return. She explained how she has met a bunch of deportees and yada, yada, yada, I wasn't listening much after the tattoo comment. I finished my cappuccino and "peaced out." I've since had great conversations with this lady and she even helped me find a house to rent.

My last boss asked me about being in gangs, or my little brother being in gangs or little cousins being in gangs. I thought to myself, "Tony?" When referring to where I come from he always says, "The east side of L.A. somewhere." The actual statement is funny, but the way he says it with his palms facing up, head tucked into his shoulders and a bewildered look on his face is hilarious! I doubt he's been there, I didn't even spend much time there. What movie is he getting that stereotype from? Born in East L.A. or A Million to Juan, both great movies by the way.

Did Dave Chapelle get asked crazy questions like this when he went to Africa? I guess he did, bad comparison, sorry. I'm always tempted to fulfill people's curiosity and answer with , "Yeah I got deported! I killed a man, no, two! [then I would proceed to bark in the person's face a la DMX. Yes, bark.]"

In further defense of people asking these questions, I have sometimes let myself go since my return to the motherland and sometimes look like this now. But still... That look's more like a sick bum than a criminal.El Heraldo image

HIstory in the making, or not... Cuarta Urna

These are tumultuous times for politics in Honduras. We are currently toying with the idea of re-writing the constitution. MZ is trying to re-write some articles that aren't supposed to be re-written. In other words; it is illegal to re-write these sacred articles, they're the foundation for the constitution. The referendum voting is scheduled to take place on June 28th, 2009. Since it's been deemed illegal by Congress, the military and police have refused to participate in the referendum that will determine whether the Cuarta Urna, or forth ballot box (the first three ballot boxes are for Presidential, Congress, and Municipal elections), will be present in this November's elections. Now we have a stand off between the President vrs. Congress and the military. Can you say Coup d'etat? With the absence of the Honduran military and police, Mel and Chavez have decided to bring in the Venezuelan military to "keep order". He is attempting to make these changes so he can stay in office for another term and continue his alliance with Chavez, the Venezuelan president, and the other ALBA (Alternativa Bolivariana para Los Pueblos de Nuestra America or Bolivian Alternative for the Americas or whatever it's called now) nations; Cuba, Bolivia, Nicaragua, and the new members as of June 24th, Ecuador, Dominica, Saint Vincent and Grenadine, Antigua and Barbuda. Some of these leaders have already succeeded in changing their constitutions and extend their term in office. I'm excited about the potentially historic changes in Honduras, but I'm also concerned for the well being of Hondurans. If a Coup does occur, the majority of citizens would suffer due to a shortage of food, stoppage of transportation, lack of medical attention and supplies. I'm also concerned about the state of the nation after the takeover. Who would be in charge? What will their interests be? Should I launch a campaign?

Latarian Milton - THANK YOU INTERNET

Latarian Milton is a little boy, kinda, that needs more attention from his parents and grandmother. He also likes doing hoodrat things with his friends and throwing his friends under the bus for joining in the hoodrat activities.This little dude took his grandma's vehicle for a joyride and wrecked it, along with other people's cars. Worst of all, this is only the first report WPBF 25 has done on him.

Half Time Shows

I had to write a separate blog about this because I was so annoyed. I was in the office working late during a Honduras - El Salvador match and decided to take a break during half time to watch the highlights. It didn't work out as expected, I'm in Honduras. Instead of showing the replay of the only goal scored they sit at a round table and eat fast food from a company sponsoring the game broadcast! Incredible! I sat there for the entire half time show and ABSOLUTELY NO REPLAYS! They just grubbed on Bojangles (Bou-yan-gles) the whole way through. WHAT!?!?! Who came up with this? Before that half time show I didn't even mind working late as I was expecting to at least watch the highlights during halftime.

I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to my favorite T.V. show, which is actually a half time show: TNT at the half with Ernie Johnson, Kenny "The Jet" Smith, and the recently returned Charles Barkeley. I love this show! These guys are knowledgable and entertaining! You have a real journalist in Ernie Johnson, a former NBA player and great analyst in Kenny "The Jet" and Charles Barkeley... Is there anything that needs to be said about Mr. "I am NOT a role model". They always bring on great guests like Magic Johnson, Chris webber and other players that are not in action due to injuries or playoff elimination. Every year I look forward to the "Gone Fishing" segments after a team gets eliminated from the Playoffs. In this segment, they photoshop pictures of the star players and coach of the eliminated team and a local celibrity over the bodies (usually out of shape) of other people while fishing. They are hilarous! They also do the photoshop thing to each other all the time, just you tube Charles Barkeley and "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" so you can see what I'm talking about.