Sh*t Roosters Say

If you live in Honduras, or a Latino neighborhood in Los Angeles, you probably live within earshot of chickens. More specifically, roosters. A rooster crowing is something I will never get used to. That sound has to be on a list with anything Janice Litman and Gilbert Gottfried say, nails screeching across a chalkboard and Sh*t Girlfriends Say coming out of your girlfriend's mouth. It wouldn't be so bad if they were only boisterous at the crack of dawn, as is portrayed in cartoons. In reality, they can and will make noise at any time of day. Not the best background noise to have blaring through your window during skype meetings, or pillow talk. I'm assuming the latter, I wouldn't know anything about that these days.

Not really related, but check out this video of the hot chicks next door.  

I shouldn't have left you...

Without a dope blog to burn to!

After putting in a couple hours of work, 3 workout sessions, and three cold showers, all between 10 PM and 7 AM; I've come to realize that I should be writing.

What should you look forward to?
Unemployed, or is it self-employed? Now I'm single, no more fiancee. Dating, or something like it. Inspiration!

Common Sights and Sounds in Honduras - Funny Signs II

I wish I knew a nice girl to introduce to this guy...

This picture was taken at a Roatan supermarket bulletin board. Thanks Sara!

I am en elderly, single, (Gringo)
Seeking single Honduran woman
Must be between the ages of 25 - 45
Goal: Eventual marriage
preferably bilingual
Requirements:
Must NOT have dependent kids living on you that
Must meet once, no strings attached
If an automobile is necessary for private transportation, DON'T CALL ME!

Baleadas Express - San Pedro Sula

In the words of one of my Sampedrano friends, "Baleadas Express is the Holy Grail of Baleadas." They are delicious baleadas, far better than most I've had, but it's far too early in my journey to bestow such a tittle on a Baleada place. I suspect that my quest for the best Baleada in Honduras is as far from being completed as man's exploration of the world's oceans. Again, these Baleadas are REALLY good, the horchata too!

They're so good, I dragged my luggage into this place on my way out of SPS. Another good friend, Sampedrana and spouse to the aforementioned Sampedrano, asked where I would like to be dropped off. "The Baleadas Express," was my response. I think she got a kick out of it, but I had to do it.

My apologies for failing to present more pictures. I was in a hurry and didn't want to lose sight of my luggage.


Baleadas Express gets a 5 out of 5 Baleada rating for consistency, quality, and variety. I also like that this is a Honduran franchise, bonus points.

Other baleada related posts:
Estelina's Buffet - San Pedro Sula, Mercado Guamilito
and
The Best Baleada in Honduras, an overview

Discover Honduras!

Discover Honduras!

This is a fantastic video about the marvels Honduras has to offer tourists. Check it out!

Common Sights and Sounds in Honduras: Funny Signs I

"Night of Daring [provocative] games
Come and have fun with our staff of daring [provocative] guys and girls

Crazy Tequila Minute 1.00 Lempira[per shot]
If it's your birthday, our staff will [help you] celebrate it"

El Progreso

D & D Brewery - Lago de Yojoa

D&D Brewery is one of the main attractions at Lago de Yojoa. Honduras' only (I think) micro brewery / hostel. This is the place most backpackers gravitate to because it's listed on travel books. I didn't get many pictures because I was busy having fun!

I only have two observations to make about this place. 1.) The beer is excellent and 2.) I was very pleased (and surprised) by the staff and their service. The difference between good beer and mediocre beer is obvious to even a novice beer drinker. The quality of beer didn't surprise me, I had already been made aware by 90% of backpackers traveling north through the hostel I managed in La Ceiba. The latter though, that was a shocker. I did not expect the owner and assistant to be as attentive and engaging as they were. I also don't expect to be handed a drink while I shop at Diunsa, or a shoulder massage after a haircut, (not anymore anyways) but it's nice to know that your patronage is appreciated.

Excellent customer service will increase repeat customers, it also allows you to gain insight from the customer's perspective. More importantly, the quality of service is a decisive factor in the Returning Catracho Report 5 baleada rating.

D&D Brewery: 5 out of 5 Baleadas

Blueberry soda, their dark brew (pictured twice) , and the pale

Pale and Dark

Thick onion rings

Power Chicken Ribs

As is the case with Estelina's Buffet, a visit to San Pedro Sula is not complete without gorging at Power Chicken. Power Chicken is famous for ribs, their own hot sauce, and obviously chicken. The sides are delicious enough to compete for attention.

My indecisiveness at restaurants always leaves me to frantically skim the menu for a fourth or fif' time as everyone else orders. That was not the case at Power Chicken. The moment someone mentioned "ribs," I knew what I would have on my first visit. When asked what I would be having, I proudly announced, "Las Costillas."

I accompanied my ribs with fried yucca, or cassava. After receiving my meal, I happily began to walk towards our table (no waitress service). One of my friends stopped me in my tracks and redirected my eager trajectory to the sauces. Power Chicken also boasts a flurry of sauces to compliment your meal. The indecisiveness hit me like a locomotive.


I finally chose the chimichurri and a lightly pickled combination of tomatoes, red onions, and cilantro. Both toppings where spectacular. The yucca was deep fried to perfection... Yucca is like green plantains, I can't explain them as being amazing, but this yucca was the bomb! I was pleased with all of those decisions. Then, the ribs... I was shocked after the first bite. I expected barbeque ribs, but they were Terayaki ribs. They were amazing! Almost all meat, very little fat. Could this be a beef rib?

On the RCR scale, this place gets a 5 out of 5 Baleada rating for it's variety, service and quality.

Estelina's Buffet - Mercado Guamilitio, San Pedro Sula

I've read and heard people say "ir a San Pedro Sula y no comer donde Estelina es como no haber ido." (Visiting San Pedro Sula and not eating at Estelina's is like not having gone [to San Pedro]). I felt the same way before having heard or read that. It wasn't until a few minutes ago that I realized how iconic this establishment really is. Located in the landmark marketplace "Mercado Guamilito," it's an icon within and icon. This is also the home of the "World's Larget Baleada," I don't think that's a Guiness World Record, but nice bragging rights in Honduras.

(Read more about "Mercado Guamilito" here)

Estelina and her Baleadas are also considered the driving force behind the recent transformation of the "food court" area in Mercado Guamilito. The area currently being used for tortilla makers and food stands was previously used for produce stands. When Estelina began selling baleadas, in addition to produce, the demand for an area dedicated to food sales grew and it became what it is now. The tortilla area provides many restaurants and homes with fresh handmade tortillas.

I became a fan because of the excellent service, clean dining area, good food, big portions, reasonable prices and the overall presentation of the product.

The girls at Estelina's always greet you with a smile! OK, they didn't smile for the picture, but they are really nice and polite.

The dining area always surprises me. It's clean, well light, and nicely decorated, not what you expect to find at a "mercado".

Four varieties of scrambled eggs, beans (refried and "parados"), casamiento (rice and beans), pancakes, pastelitos.

No need for "in between" snacks with these portions.

If you only eat here once, you must have the Baleada there. The tortillas are perfectly made, not too thick so it opaques the taste of the contents and not too thin so the contents tear through.

In conclusion, Estelina's Buffet is a great place for good typical Honduran food. This alone should serve as a reason to visit the historic Guamilito market. Beyond the food, Estelina's is a great story. A humble produce vendor finding a niche with baleadas and developing that niche into a San Pedro Sula staple. This business has adopted excellent business practices seldom found in other Honduran businesses: friendly service, a variety of good quality products, efficiency (notice the stools that allow more customers to sit and dine), and great staff training, evident with up selling, greetings, politeness and willingness to accommodate your needs. The other thing that really jumps out to me is the fact that they have developed a "brand" complete with a logo, portraying the real Estelina, and cups rocking the logo and name. I hope other businesses in Honduras follow this example.

My rating: 5 out of 5 baleadas.

Business in Honduras - The Honduran Worker Part 1

B.O.B. (Bombs Over Baghdad) - Outkast
"before you re-up, get a lap top. Make a business for yourself, boy set some goals. Make a fat dime out of dust and coals"

I've spent countless hours discussing the problems with business in Honduras. I've spent even more hours studying "Business in Honduras". No not studying business at a university, I've been studying business here with a more "hands on" approach. I'm not an economist or expert on local business, but I can say that I have spent some time in various levels of business in Honduras. I also like to claim that Polache and the undercover boss T.V. show kinda jacked my idea, but I'm not worried about it because I've forgotten better ideas than that!

I've worked (for short experimental stints) as a cattle herder and yard worker in San Manuel and a coconut vendor on the beaches of Tela. Through these "internships" I gained valuable insight about the type of work that most Hondurans depend on and the living conditions they retreat to after work. I've worked as a teacher at a private school, which has allowed me to understand some of the flaws in our educational system. I've managed "accounting" departments for a resort and small retail chain, with terrible timing, as I learned how political sanctions (during the "coup") on an already impoverished country and a dwindling economy (world and local) can hinder business. My tenure as the manager of a hostel granted me understanding of the tourism industry and it's importance to our economy. All of these jobs gave me an opportunity to study the common procedures, or lack thereof, that are practiced (or not) in most businesses. More importantly, I've been blessed with the opportunity to discover what being "Honduran" really means.

Regardless of what industry you discuss; agricultural, tourism / service related, educational, manufacturing, etc..., EVERYONE has one common complaint: the workforce. No one voices that complaint louder that Gringos. I even complained about the same thing when I first arrived in Honduras (and still do sometimes). Gringos (and I) are accustomed to business in the U.S. and other developed nations. Nations that provide its citizens with top notch education and even work training for free. In these countries, everyone has an opportunity for advancement because hard work and dedication can level the playing field for anyone. Even people from trailer parks and the projects can climb the ladder if they have the will for it. It may be difficult, but nothing is impossible. Unfortunately, that's not the case in Honduras. We don't have many of those "feel good" stories about the Mc Donald's employee ending up as a Regional Manager. There is no opportunity for growth here, only survival. It's unreasonable to assume that people in Honduras will approach work with the same dedication.

"Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now... now I'm washing lettuce. Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in." - As funny as this seems, it's more than most Hondurans get!

Gettin it by Too Short
"Get your kids in school, so they can get an education, get a degree and take a vacation."

Getting paid and working conditions!
I've never been able to understand how people can survive on minimum wage (In the US or Honduras). When I lived in L.A., the California minimum was $8.00 per hour. This is based on a 40 hour work week, paid sick days and vacation time. California law also mandates two breaks and overtime pay; one 15 minute and one 1 hour lunch break per 8 hour shift in addition to overtime pay for work exceeding an 8 hour shift (time and a half after 8 hours and double pay after 12 hours). Minimum wage pay doesn't provide enough for a family to live on, but a single person gets by with approximately $1,000 / month. My rent alone surpassed that by $600, "that's crazy (Say it like Tracy Morgan)!!!" Even minimum wage employees in the US strive to do their best on a daily basis because you can stand out and snatch that opportunity to grow.

When I arrived in Honduras, minimum wage was Lps. 3,500 per month. That's $185.23 based on a 46 hour work week, usually with no breaks, no company sick days. Based on a 26 day work month, that's Lps. 134.62 ($7.12) per day with only four days off per month!!! Now factor in the travel expense of Lps. 20 - 60. Dayyyyuuuuum!!! The only way you can get compensated for sick days is by paying into social security (from that whopping salary), which employers detest. Overtime pay is a foreign concept even to the Gringos here. I've witnessed employers demand and expect (not request) an employee to work double shifts and compensate that second shift for a lower rate than their normal pay. In some cases, employees receive absolutely no compensation for working extra hours. Think I'm fibbing? Check out this article from the Bay Islands Voice (Click Here)

The Honduran minimum wage has been raised to Lps. 5,500 per month. A substantial increment (57.14%), but still far from enough for anyone to survive on. At first, I was completely opposed to the sudden increase. I worried about the negative effects on small business and the lay offs that would follow. Some businesses had to close their doors, some decided to lay off employees and extend hours for the ones that remained in order to survive. Other businesses decided to disregard the new laws and STILL pay less than the minimum. In some cases employers exploited the desperate need of employees by extending their hours and refusing to pay them a fair rate for the extended hours. They actually benefited at the expense of the labor force. So now, one person works twice as much and the employers pay less than what they would pay two people.

With these working conditions and compensation rates, it's no wonder why our economy is so dependent on remittances from our people in the U.S.

Our other sources of income stem from the exportation of produce (mostly bananas and coffee), tourism, and the slowly growing textile production or "maquilas". Ironically, these industries are the most infamous for exploiting and mistreating the Honduran workforce. How can we expect our agricultural, textile and tourism industries to grow if we mistreat the workforce that these industries are dependent on?

Do we really expect to diversify our economy with "call centers" and new production if we haven't been successful with the industries we've relied on for years?


From personal experience:
I worked at a resort as the Accounting Manager, I also lived there (For free? Hell nah!!!). When I arrived in May 09, my first task was to "close out the fourth quarter for 2008". WTF!!!?!?!?!?!

Let me put it in perspective: We were then in the second quarter of 2009 and I had to close out the last quarter for the previous year. This means that I had to generate maintenance billing (without any record of maintenance work or expenses) for October - December in 2008, and distribute rental income to the owners of the rental units. It is safe to assume that all the owners were pissed about the uncertainty of their rental income. Don't get it twisted, I wasn't being asked to solely focus on 2008's 4th Q, I also had to work on 2009's 1st Q and all the day to day responsibilities that go along with managing an accounting department AND trying to develop training material for my department (I was silly enough to think I would have time for that).

On many days, I would be in my office at 5 A.M., trying to get a jump on things without any interruptions from the day to day routine or co-workers. At 7 A.M., I would head to the restaurant for breakfast. On many occasions, I arrived there to realize that none of the servers came to work in protest of terrible treatment from superiors or they had simply quit. Always having my employer's best interest in mind, I would decide to tend to the restaurant customers vacationing at the resort so they didn't leave with a bad taste in their mouths. I would sometimes do so until 10 A.M., when the employees designated to the afternoon shift would (be pressured to) show up to cover for the absences (for no pay, of course).. I would then return to my office and often work until 9 P.M. (or later), eating my lunch and dinner at my desk.

Guess what I received in return for my work and dedication? It's not compensation for extra hours, guess again... No, not a "Thank you" either, try again... I was faced with penalty threats and insults!!! Nice...!

Getting unpaid - Penalties!
At the private school I worked at, speaking in Spanish was a $5.00 fine!!! I was supposed to teach British Literature to kids that didn't speak or understand English. WTF?!?!?!

It is common practice in Honduras to penalize employees for mistakes. At one place I worked, I was penalized $3 for voiding a check, even if it was the boss' fault!!! I was also penalized for failing to deduct an absent day from someone's pay, that same absent day was then deducted from the employee's next paycheck. So the employee missed one day of work, and two days of work were deducted from two different employees. Huh?! At that same place, I witnessed waiters and cooks being charged the sales price of menu items ($7 - 15) that customers were not satisfied with or even if they changed their order. Broken glasses and plates also resulted in fines. In other countries, these losses are accounted for as business expenses, not an employee's personal expense.

Lets think about this in numbers: If someone is getting paid $7.12 per day and gets penalized $10 for a returned order, the employee is working that entire day and a portion of the next day for FREE and the restaurant is still making a profit on their dish. Am I the only person thinking "modern day slavery?"

Prestaciones!
Prestaciones is the Honduran version of severance pay. Employers cringe at the sound of this word and are willing to jump through hoops to avoid paying them. Honduran employers seem to pay them, while foreigners would rather pay others to "fix" the problem with legal intimidation. Before becoming aware of the business practices in Honduras and living conditions of the general population, I was opposed to this concept. But now, after familiarizing myself with the work and living conditions, I'm all for it. In most cases, Honduran's only have what they get every pay day.

Imagine a Honduran with zero savings quitting or being fired. What do you think they will resort to with no work? Think hard... nothing yet? Well marinade in Kanye West's quote for a few minutes. This is from the song, We Don't Care; "We forced to sell crack, rap, and get a job"... That's in the hood, now imagine that same mentality adapted to the third world... What do you get? I think it would go something like this: We forced to sell crack, rob, extort, kidnap and hope for a job...

You may ask, "Why would someone accept this treatment?" Again, most Hondurans only have what they are going to be paid and that is it. We live our lives accepting that we have no rights. No freedom of speech, no employment rights, no legal rights, and to top it off - all our public officials have been bought.

My respect to all the Honduran's that continue to work honestly despite these conditions. To all the Honduran's that have decided to resort to crime, "I undastand"...

IZZO by Jay-Z
Like I told you sell drugs - No! / Hov' did that so hopefully you won't have to go
through that

Don't Feel Right by the Roots
If you ain't tryin' to get popped, then give me a option

Part 2!!!
I haven't started writing part 2 of God know how many, but it will focus on stealing... That's another common complaint from Gringos, in the words of TWO of my former employers, "Every Honduran steals." Apparently these people were not familiar with the saying "When you point a finger, four point back at you" or the fact that I too, am a Honduran; so you're spitting in my face when you say that. Maybe by that time they had forgotten that when employing me, one of the first things, if not the first thing, that I was made aware of, is the fact that they "have two sets of books; one for the Government and one for the business." In other words, tax evasion.

Are they stealing from the Honduran worker? Are they stealing from the average Honduran family? Are they directly influencing the quality of education that Honduran's receive? Are they partly at fault for the poor preparation of the future workforce? YES! YES! YES! and YES! - tsk, tsk, tsk

Before ANOTHER Gringo attempts to argue that they prefer to "keep that money rather than give it to the corrupt politicians because their money is used for better purposes." I have to say, that's like the pot calling the kettle black... Who determines whether or not your "charitable contributions" (that will be used as tax write offs in the US) really benefit the Honduran people? It's no big secret that some "charities" are the source of income for many of the foreigners running them, and I don't know about you, but I haven't seen any of those Gringos living like Hondurans...

I do have to state that some people genuinely try to help Hondurans by setting up REAL non-profits, but not all...

Every company I've done accounting for in Honduras has an expense account titled "Theft Loss", so yes, SOME Hondurans do steal, but this also the rug that all the losses from poor management are swept under. Don't worry Hondurans actually stealing will also be discussed as to not disappoint the Gringos...

Common Sights and Sounds in Honduras - Hitching a ride on the "paila"

I counted thirteen, but only twelve are pictured.

From Returning Catracho Report

Common Sights and Sounds in Honduras - Annoying pre-recorded salesman, Almacenes El Cachimbazo

The louder you play it, the more potential customers will flock to your business... NOT!!!

This is hilarious though! Please, please, please listen to the sales pitch! They have been bumpin' this for at least two years.



Part 2

A day in the life of a Honduran - My first Volvo

I didn't do this for a day either. I just helped for a bit.

Common Sights in Honduras - Hanging Laundry

Hand washing is an art form. If you don't know what you're doing, you'll end up stretching your shirt collars and wearing them 80's style.

From Returning Catracho Report

You can do it yourself or pay someone to do it for you.

From Returning Catracho Report

Common Sights in Honduras - Electrical / Phone poles

This is a common sight in Honduras: Electric / Phone poles overrun with cables.

From Teguz

From Teguz

From Teguz

Seleccion Nacional de Honduras - Amado Guevara A.K.A. "El Lobo"

Amado Guevara, our National team captain, our fearless leader; first became a Honduran household name playing for Motagua and Olimpia. He gained international notoriety after short stints in Spain, Mexico and Costa Rica; finally, concreting his name in MLS history by earning MVP and Soring leader in 2004 while playing for the New York Metrostars.




My question: "Amado! Que prefieres; tortillas de maiz o harina?"
His response: "Me encantan las Baleadas, asi que harina."

My Follow up: "Que tan importante es mantener una dieta balanceada de baleadas y fresco en preparacion para el hexagonal?"

His response: just chuckles...

Pouring out a little liqour for Klien Bohemia - SPS

Klein Bohemia was my favorite hang out spot while calling myself a Jampedrano. This was the quintessential dive bar; a place where the attire of patrons could range from basketball shorts to suits, the type of bar where you can have a blast without consuming alcohol (That was my personal favorite), and it was the only "expat" hang out that I knew of in SPS. For all the real Sampedrano's, my condolences...

On any given day, what appeared to be "quite nights" could turn into a surprise performance from Honduran greats like Guillermo Anderson, Polache, and Montuca Sound System. Programmed concerts featured rock, ska, jazz, metal, electronic, trova, reggae, salsa, and so much more. From what I hear and have read, Klein Bohemia has been around for a long time and previously operated as the "Kulture Cafe". The bar eventually closed it's doors, but it's spirit will always survive in the memory of Sampedranos and transplants alike.

This bill has been "payed"...

Thank you Credomatic...

Honduran Words and Expressions - Wachiman

Wachiman

Noun. Someone employed as a caretaker, or watch man; more commonly known as "wachi." Not to be confused with a security guard, this hired help serves as a mere illusion of security; notorious for drinking / sleeping on the job and often accused of participating as the "inside man" in crimes. The machete is the traditional weapon of choice, although some carry firearms... and some of those firearms are actually loaded... and some of the loaded firearms actually work.


Synonym: Rent-a-cop

Usage:

#1. Se metieron a mi casa unos ladrones. Nos dejaron hule!

#2. Que pasada! Y el wachi?

#1. No vio nada, ese man estaba fundiado!




This is an actual wachi, a master at work...

Please excuse the lack of Spanish punctuations.

Honduran Corn Dogs

This is a Honduran corn dog. I should know better...