Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Latarian Milton Remix - THANK YOU INTERNET!!!!

Posts labeled as THANK YOU INTERNET will highlight my appreciation for the internet making this world flat

Read this first!

I hate people who spread emails with viral videos, but I love the internet for exposing the world to things like this. Maybe I shouldn't think that the video on the link above is funny, I realize I have a twisted sense of humor. This video though, is freakin hilarious even if you didn't see the first. Again, this was remixed from his first of four encounters with the authorities and the media. They even chopped and screwed this at the end, classic.

Monday, July 27, 2009

So... Why were you deported and what gang were you in?

El Heraldo image

People aren't shy about asking these questions here in Honduras. If you're a returning Catracho you're either a deportee or crazy. After dengue, 2 armed robberies, a brief stay in a cell , and a few near-drowning experiences, I have to agree with my mother and label myself as crazy. I haven't seen any media coverage of "crazy" returning Catrachos so most people assume that everyone coming back has been deported, especially if you're young. In the defense of ignorance; La Prensa recently reported that 27,000 Hondurans have been deported from the U.S. in the first seven months of 2009 and the ICE doesn't try to deport people for "nuthin", unless you're Elian Gonzales. 58,000 Hondurans had their American dreams deflated last year. After seeing the numbers, I can understand why so many people impose these questions. Despite my understanding, it's still offensive.

I've had people ask me, "Why were you deported?" before asking my name, some people try to be smooth about it; they'll ask where I "was" before moving here. I may be exaggerating, but it feels like they're asking what jail I was in before being released for deportation. I was grilled about deportation at a job interview, once hired, I was expected to submit proof of non-deportation. Do you want page 193 from my journal or pictures of me at the airport without handcuffs? How would one go about proving a voluntary return to Honduras? I was thrilled to work there..... A "friend", more like acquaintance, finally asked about deportation after months of knowing me and was relieved to learn I had not been deported. She let out a sigh of relieve and said, "O.K. good, because my friend and I were wondering about that."

The other big question on the tip of everyone's tongue when meeting a returning Catracho is, "What gang were you in?" I met a lady running a dive shop in Roatan, after introducing ourselves and exchanging stories about where we're from, she said in her Texan (more like Tex-Mex) accent "Alright, take off the shirt and show me all them gang tattoos" All I could do is smile in return. She explained how she has met a bunch of deportees and yada, yada, yada, I wasn't listening much after the tattoo comment. I finished my cappuccino and "peaced out." I've since had great conversations with this lady and she even helped me find a house to rent.

My last boss asked me about being in gangs, or my little brother being in gangs or little cousins being in gangs. I thought to myself, "Tony?" When referring to where I come from he always says, "The east side of L.A. somewhere." The actual statement is funny, but the way he says it with his palms facing up, head tucked into his shoulders and a bewildered look on his face is hilarious! I doubt he's been there, I didn't even spend much time there. What movie is he getting that stereotype from? Born in East L.A. or A Million to Juan, both great movies by the way.

Did Dave Chapelle get asked crazy questions like this when he went to Africa? I guess he did, bad comparison, sorry. I'm always tempted to fulfill people's curiosity and answer with , "Yeah I got deported! I killed a man, no, two! [then I would proceed to bark in the person's face a la DMX. Yes, bark.]"

In further defense of people asking these questions, I have sometimes let myself go since my return to the motherland and sometimes look like this now. But still... That look's more like a sick bum than a criminal.El Heraldo image
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